Friday, December 13, 2013

6 months

It's been exactly six months since I last blogged, an eternity in the blogger continuum. Why even bother at this point? There's so much to recap, it's not even worth saying it.

This year has been a true mountaintop experience. Well, the middle part of it was. The beginning and end felt more like climbing up and subsequently sliding down that mountain. The triumph of turning 30 this summer and releasing "I Laughed Too Hard," a work four years in the making (technically 30 years in the making but that's neither here nor there) was bookended by breakups on either end of the year. The first initiated a slow climb back to fresh air. I slowly climbed back into myself, finding my footing and shedding the weight (both figuratively and literally) that had kept me pressed down to the ground. The second felt like an awkward stumble down the mountain, away from what I'd worked for and stepped into.

It's interesting to me, nay, I say ironic, that as I look at the calendar pages turning from 2013 to 2014, I'm also at another turning point in my life. A moment of reinvention. A moment to pivot and change directions again. I don't think that's by accident. There's something profound about the fact that I don't have to set resolutions for the New Year, because my entire existence is a resolution currently. I was able to reinvent myself in the opening months of 2013, and by doing so, becoming a better version of myself. Now, I'm afforded the same opportunity yet again.

This year has been the greatest year of my life. I marched fully into who I am, what I love and who I can be. I accomplished goals I'd set for myself. I found love. But with every great thing, there was a counterbalance of loss, but that's what keeps us rational. That's what keeps us human. That's what keeps us from becoming Kanye.

I feel like I'm in attack mode again, and that's an awesome feeling.
I have some new goals to attack and demolish.
I have some new visions I want to see materialize. 
And I'm writing again.

And furthermore, this year isn't even over yet. There's still so much life to live. And I'm going to live.

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