Tuesday, August 14, 2012

2nd anniversary

This blog was going to be much different than it has become. I was going to muse about how today is my second anniversary living in New York City and I was going to make a list of all the things that have changed for me and what I've learned. It was going to be both witty and heartfelt and was going to mention Friends, Sex and the City and 30 Rock at least twice each.
But what I really want to do today is just say how thankful I am to be here. I work a "regular" 9-5 job that's really anything but regular and I'm chipping away at my life goals list by BLEEPing on a monthly basis. Being entrusted by our readers each month to create something that matters is something that both humbles me and drives me to push harder and go further, not just in the work of the magazine, but in all avenues of my life.
The version of me that lived here a year ago is a very different version of me than what's here today. Over the past year, I've taken more risks, I've tried more new things and I've seen more growth than the previous year. I've allowed myself to let go of the self-made barricades and step into my own skin in a way I never have before. I've seen my circle of friends expand and contract in the best ways I never imagined and I've seen just how strong the strands of my long-distance friendships are.
Ultimately, I'm just thankful. I get to live in the place I've dreamed of living. I didn't compromise that dream either. I have a job that pays my bills and another job that pays me in completely different and equally important emotional and personal ways. I'm thankful I've internalized the fact that I'm a work-in-progress and allowed that to be alright. It's alright to be me, no matter what.
I'm 29 years old and I still have no clue what life will look like in 6 months, in a year or in five years. That's fine. I'm just thankful I'm here. There are so many people who are too scared to uproot their lives and chase their dream and while I was nervous about moving thousands of miles away from my friends and family, I knew it was what I was meant to do. That I have the support I have and am being given the opportunities I usually feel are, undeservedly, handed to me is unreal.
I was called an hero at work today. It was a very public and very unexpected compliment made in front of people who I have the utmost respect for. I'd be lying if I said it didn't overwhelm me a little. In that moment, on this day, a day where I'm already so thankful to be here, it served as a public validation of what I've known inside. I'm right where I'm supposed to be. It's hard not getting to do the pledge with my ridiculous and amazing family on the 4th of July. It's hard not getting to support my college gang in person when they are doing amazing things and accomplishing their dreams. It's hard not being able to afford to fly to my friends' weddings. It's hard not having real Tex-Mex whenever I want it...
But the trade off is exhilarating.
This past week, I've felt the winds of change. Something's about to change in my life and while I don't know what it is right now, I can't wait to find out. Here's to another year of living and discovering the city and myself. Stick around. It's sure to be a fun ride.

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