Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The Epicenter

Last night, one of my oldest friends and I hashed through a specific set of memories that neither of us had really revisited in a very long time. I don't usually condone drudging up the past, but for us, it became a cathartic moment of profound self rediscovery. The type of thing that can happen after years of growing up.
I suppose the reason it was all so profound was my realization that the memory cluster we were un-knotting happened to fall exactly 11 years from the moment we were talking last night.  What is it about putting a time stamp on something that widens our eyes and our narrows our perspective?
The specific memory we were allowing to resurface isn't really important to define here, but it had to do with the implosion of a friendship. What's important is the reminder that in this life, we have these moments where we behave less-than-admirably and our actions aren't exactly noble. We have moments where the support system we've built for ourselves collapses and we are forced to confront the reality of the naivety of youth. We have these moments where our lives feel like they're in shambles, when in reality, it's just that the space in the metaphorical room was not big enough to accommodate the growth that life naturally brings to us. 
What I learned last night as I was literally searching for words was something about the resilience of people and the breakable quality of relationships. We bounce back. After time, we are even able to Oprah our experience into a neat little package of personal growth, tied up with a little bow of profound self-discovery. 
I turned 29 last week and that doesn't scare me in the slightest. I don't fear the number that comes after that either. Though, like I do during every birthday, New Years and Christmas, I reflect on the years that have passed and what I've learned. Last night was a poignant reminder of how relationships can deepen over time and become even more meaningful than when they were "your everything" in high school. And no matter the state of what transpired in that ever-so-strange memory cluster I've been sifting through, I know there's value in the epicenter. There's value in the singular moment that changes every moment that follows. Did you ever see/read The Butter Battle Book? Its this Dr. Suess book that's not as famous as cat's hats or elephants with hearing issues, but it's more profound than most of his other books. At the end, each side of this warring area are holding a tiny spec of what is not-so-cleverly disguised as an atomic bomb reference. Its a tiny spec but when it goes off, it will change everything. There's value in that.
What I've seen this week is a reassessment of the epicenter. I've been thinking about it over the past week and it's made me think deeper about the events in my life that might be the epicenter of something great.



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