Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Ebbing

What do you do when you feel in-between?
I'm honestly asking because I don't really know.
I don't know what to do when I'm in-between. I imagine it would help to know what in-between means though and even that's difficult to explain.
Creative people go through these ebbs and flows of inspiration. We always have the ability to execute, but without inspiration, the execution of whatever we're doing will be flawed and in some cases, tragic. A songwriter that writes an uninspired song probably won't change anyone's life. An artist that isn't inspired to paint anything can still paint that tree, but the tree won't matter much. I'm stuck in the middle, in-between, two of those flows. I guess I would have said, "What do you do when you're in the ebb" but that wouldn't have made too much sense. Though it does sound more Oprah-appropriate.
It's strange. I've seen so many really interesting and creative shows recently and usually, that's all it takes for me to break through a creative entrenchment, much like the dragon that breaks through Gringotts in Harry Potter. But for some reason, that hasn't been the way this has played out. I feel like I've had momentary glimpses of daylight but there is this heavy cloud resting over me, Eeyore style.
It never ceases to amaze me how disoriented I feel in these moments and I always question why it happens. But as I've already said, I'm in the ebb. I have the wisdom to know that the flow will come. 
I think that's the calm in the Eeyore-sized storm. The calm that comes with knowing it's just a season and it will eventually end. That is where I think wisdom is the most important. It's in the knowledge that you've been there before and you'll be there again eventually. Just like waves in the ocean, ebb and flow, ebb and flow, ebb and flow.
So I'm in the ebb. This too shall pass. But in the meantime, I don't really know what to do in the in-between. I suppose, just sit, wait and watch Mad Men.

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