Monday, November 14, 2011

...our next cartoon features...

I met Slappy the Squirrel today.
I did.
I mean, I think I did.
I'm kinda in a haze today because I don't feel the greatest, but I had to come to work because I had an interview and photoshoot with someone that wasn't going to happen if I wasn't there. But I digresss...
This woman that I'm interviewing comes in, and I've met her before, but she has cut her hair since then. That shouldn't matter but when I last met her and she looked more like Helen Mirren as opposed to the Chaz Bono look she's sporting now.
She starts talking in her very New York accent and I think it was a mixture of the short hair with the Brooklyn accent and my haze of illness that made her slowly morph into Slappy the Squirrel. Suddenly, I didn't see this woman anymore. All I saw was a talking squirrel that, at any minute, was going to make a wise crack about Milton Berle or drop an anvil on someone's head.
Can I tell you how profound it is to talk to a cartoon in person? It's not as exciting as you might think it'd be when you're a kid. But it's not terrifying either. What's terrifying is seeing the faux-cartoon characters dressed up and wandering around Times Square charging tourists five dollars a photo when that's precisely that amount of money they spent on their costume. Do we really need six Elmos wandering around Times Square? Do we really need a blue formless fuzzy blob trolling for tourists in an attempt to profit off of what I can only guess is a reject Cookie Monster outfit that got ran over on the Queensboro Bridge?
But in talking with Slappy, I realized one thing. I need to take some meds and I need to get into bed. We shouldn't be talking to cartoons in real life. It may have worked for Roger Rabbit but I just don't see it working here. I'd much rather talk to a Muppet in person, mostly because I already know the language. I speak fluent Muppet.
If you've read this blog before, you know that I think Slappy is one of the best animated characters ever and Animaniacs is obviously one of the best animated shows ever, but I will say that I don't have a desire to talk to Slappy again. She wasn't a very good interview. Gonzo however, would probably nail it.

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