Thursday, August 11, 2011

Pitchin and Printin

I don't usually talk about my work life on here, mostly because I try to keep work and private life as separate as possible. But today, I'm going to have to break with that.
I do a lot of marketing work which means working with printing companies and such. Part of that is being on the receiving end of what seems like an endless slew of pitches about why we should go with this company or that company.
I don't really like this process because I don't like disappointing people but it's all a part of it. It's what has to happen really. And you know, I actually do like looking through people's portfolios and seeing all they've done, not so much to prove they can do quality work, but because I enjoy reading through the flyers while they ramble on and on about how superior they are to other printing houses.
Yes. I tune most of it out as I read about what sitcom star hosted this charity event or who the performer list was for their Broadway themed "night under the stars."

(Can we talk about the theme "night under the stars" for just a second? At some point, someone decided that would be the go-to theme for everything from benefits to proms and I have to say, I've met so many creative people in this life and I know we can collectively come up with something better. It may have been fine in the day when Marty McFly was kissing his mom or when Grease was the word, but come on. Can we not evolve past the theme "night under the stars?")

But ranting aside, it's a part of my job and that's fine. But here's the thing: Just tell me how much it costs.
Why is that so difficult? Just tell me how much it costs. I don't care about your process, or the paper, or the vibrancy of the colors. It's all the same. I'm going to dictate all of those things when I give you what we want. Everyone is the same in that department. You're all better than everyone else. I get it. So just give me the bottom line. I don't have time for you, your clunky shoes, your clammy handshakes, your ears hanging low or your musings about jazz restaurants on the Upper West Side. Just tell me how much it costs. I don't eat carbs and I need energy stat. I swear, when I can feel my eyes glaze over and the room begins to spin, you've achieved a new level of boring.
So the moral of the story is (and I have a few friends that could use this advice when they are telling stories as well) cut to the chase. Get to the point. And don't, for any reason whatsoever, be an enabler to the theme "night under the stars."

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