I've started watching Christmas movies, you know, because it's that time, and The Polar Express was on TV tonight. Now listen. I liked The Polar Express movie and while I know there are people who have issues with the way the kids look and stuff, I still thought it was a good telling of the story.
But tonight, I noticed something. The elves at the North Pole are creepy. And terrifying. And I realized they're the same as another small creature from a movie. Yes. The goblins from Harry Potter. Interchangeable with the Christmas elves. But the whole thing just seemed like Oz on crack right? I mean, the whole thing where the elves are singing and stuff? I am a little terrified right now.
Of course all of my terror immediately subsides when the kid hears the bell and suddenly I'm a kid again and I want Santa to come and solve all of my problems. I have quite the list for Santa this year. Would you like to hear it? I'm glad.
1. No more lives torn apart, that wars will never start, that time...
Totally kidding. Who wants that?
I want a job for Christmas. That's all. I don't need anything else. I've got tons of crap I don't need. Why would I need more crap? What I need is a job. Preferably in the city I love. Can you handle that Santa? I've got a few other friends who would love jobs too. Are you signed up for Careerbuilder like us? Is there a special Santa Careerbuilder site? Well log your jolly self on. After all, I've already paid my dues this year, stood in line through wonderland, talked to Eggnog the elf, and sat next to you there and now I'm watching movies about you all night long. So hook me up Santa.