Sunday, November 7, 2010

She's not Beyonce

Why hasn't the world figured out that Rihanna can't sing? Wait. That's not it. We all know that. Why hasn't she figured out she can't sing? I just don't understand.
She was on SNL last weekend and it was horrible. And it wasn't even a good performance. She just flung her arms around the stage like she was some hippie raggedy ann doll and warbled out some notes that somehow related to the songs she was supposed to be singing. It was so incredibly frustrating.
And now, news broke that she shared the stage with Bon Jovi last night. Bon Jovi? Surely they know better. Surely. Maybe they were just put up to it like some sort of joke and they're laughing at how terrible she sounded on all the youtube videos. I dunno. But I just don't get it.
There are plenty of performers out there who aren't great singers. Plenty. Taylor Swift sold a million records in a week for God's sake and we all know that she certainly is not a good vocalist. Britney? She's sold more records than God and we all know she's weak vocally. Madonna can't sing either. But these women sell records. And Ri-Ri keeps selling songs on iTunes too.
But I must say. The jig's up. She needs to quit it with all the thinking that she's awesome. Because you know she does. You know she thinks she's awesome. You can just tell by the way she acts. She's got Jay-Z syndrome. Except Jay's got Beyonce. Ri-Ri's got...auto tuner.

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