Tuesday, November 30, 2010

No ma'ams

At what point is "Yes ma'am" and "Yes sir" over when speaking to your parents? I mean, at what age, do they cease to be ma'am and sir and become your friends who you can speak to informally?
For me, that happened in high school. I actually started calling my parents by their first names. Not that they were a fan of that, but it did make us more like friends. You know how high school can be. A terrible time and too many things are going on and changing in our wee little heads. I was CERTAINLY no exception. I was too busy figuring out who I was to be bothered to work on any sort of real relationship with my parents. (really, that's the core of most teenage angst isn't it? Self awareness and sometimes complete selfishness.) But the ma'am and sir thing stopped then.
I know people who are in their twenties who still speak to their parents with the ma'am and sir mentality and while I know that's very southern and very polite, it's also very authoritarian and distancing. There comes a point when you and your parents have to become friends because eventually, one of you is going to have to take care of the other and you might as well be friends.
I do realize that this is going to rub some people the wrong way. But I don't care. I would hate to be in a family where my father was this looming figure over the top of me, like a big ol' judge, waiting to send down a verdict. I much prefer the way things are now. We're friends. They're my parents. They're irreplaceable. But we're friends. I'm 801 years old now. I don't need disciplinarians in my life. That's why I have a friend who'll CHH me and believe me. She does it enough for the lot of you.
So I just don't really understand it. It seems to be something that falls under the good-ol-boy mentality of living that I just don't want to have anything to do with. Manners are great and all but at some point, you have to be equals.

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