Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Mr. Smith, I'm done.

Please tell me you've seen the little spawn of Will and Jada Smith's video where she's all whippin her hair back and forth. Please. Tell me you have.
Two things are happening here.
First, a lot of little children are going to break their necks. For real. A great many small children and idiotic teenagers are going to break their necks while trying to whip their hair back and forth. I'd love to see the behind the scenes of making this video, where all the dancers are moaning off to the side in their neck braces, mourning the loss of the full use of their neck which they'll never get back.
Second, does it not look like all these folks are demon possessed? Right? I mean, they are shakin all over the place, their heads are snappin all over. If at any moment, any one of these children began to projectile vomit pea soup and crawl up the stairs, I wouldn't be shocked in the slightest.
There are actually three things happening here. The third this is the loss of a nine year old girl's childhood. It's gone. And that, much like one's virginity, is something she won't ever get back. Now listen, child stars have been around for ages because their parents are money hungry fame whores. But come on Will Smith. Come on. You should know better than to pimp out your children to the entertainment industry. First that moronic son thinks he all Asian and remakes a move that NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN REMADE and now your daughter is gonna break her neck with a novelty song. Both of them have lost their childhoods and teenage years completely. And they try to act all hood. They grew up in Los Angeles. Please. Their spoons were gold and their floors were marble. I don't want to hear anything about anything hood from either of them.
Basically, I'm done with the Smith family. Clearly parenting wasn't high on the agenda, clearly making a good movie wasn't high on any of their agendas for the past few years, and I just can't help it. I hate that fake karate kid. He drives me crazy. So I'm sorry Smith family. But yes. I'm done with you.

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