It seems that over the past few days, there have been multiple reports of gay kids either trying to kill themselves or succeeding. I don't know why this is happening all of the sudden, but it upsets me. It breaks my heart actually.
Listen. I've never wanted to kill myself. I've never been in that place where I've felt that hopeless or felt like the only way out was just to end it. So it breaks my heart to hear about these young pre-teen boys who are being bullied at school for being gay and they feel like the only way to overcome it is to kill themselves.
I guess there's so much press out there about equality in America but it's stories like this that show that America isn't as open as some pundits would want us to believe. Perhaps this is why DADT wasn't repealed? There's still so much of America that isn't accepting? I dunno.
I was bullied in junior high. I mean, I had kids making fun of me for a myriad of reasons and there were days when I did cry on the bus on the way home because of what the dumbass kids at school said to me. Sure. I wasn't good at sports (I hadn't figured out my dominating excellence in broomball yet) and I wasn't particularly smart in class (I mean I guess I'm smart now but then...eek). I got in a lot of trouble during my 7th grade year (you'll read all about it in my memoir eventually) and I really had a rough go of it, again, for a myriad of reasons. But I had my faith to lean on.
I will say. As I get older, there are certain areas of my life that I find it hard to lean on that faith about, and there have been times when I've been hurt so badly by others that even that faith seems to not fill that cut. But I guess I've always known, somewhere, even in those dark times, that there was a bigger plan at work here. Well, that and I realized that other people's opinions are inferior to me, that I'm generally wittier than the majority of the populous and that without my (sometimes uncontrollable) ability to just say exactly what I think without any form of self censorship, the world would be a less truthful place.
I guess, I wish I could tell these kids that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. That they don't have to kill themselves. So what who they like? We're all completely scrambled when we are in junior high. No one has it together. They are the most bizarre people group on the planet. But killing yourself isn't the way out. Forking the yards of those mean kids? That's the answer. General acts of vandalism. That's the key. Or, you can do what I've been doing for over a decade. You can kill them with kindness, all the while knowing that in the end, you will end up on top. (insert obvious gay joke here) But these kids can make it. Millions of us made it. There's hope. Trust your faith. And at the end of the tunnel there's a light.