Monday, July 5, 2010

Studs

I've always hated the uber-stylized 80s fashions. I've never understood it really, but I've started coming around to it. Having said that, I think we've got a situation on our hands. I think our male singers are coming unraveled because they are all over-compensating with an abundance of studs in their outfits.
I can't help but relate though. I mean, I've got a lot on my mind currently and there have been moments over the past few days when I have felt like my mind was coming unraveled. Perhaps a stud or grommet or two to keep things in place would be helpful?
I'm about to enter six solid months of transition and while I do believe that change is a good thing, it's easier to take when all at once. You know, like ripping the band-aid off. Not that this is a painful change. I guess you might perceive that from the band-aid reference. That's not it. I'm not really sure how to describe this in a way that will both make sense and not sound ridiculous.
I'm a planner. I like to plan how things are going to work out, map how I'm going to make it happen and plot out my next course of action. I do believe in spontaneity. I do. But not really when it comes to the big picture decisions of my life.
But starting 3 days from now, I'll be on a trek that won't end until 2011 really and I think that's equal part "so excited for the unknown and a new adventure" & equal part "makes me so nervous I'm practically vomiticious." That's the truth.
So I find that the seams of my usually composed and put-together self have come apart a bit and this duality of excitement and nervousness is seeping out. I feel like I could use some studs or some grommets. Where's Stella when I need her?
I will say this. This uneasy dialog between my nerves and my excitement is a new feeling, something I can only imagine will result in something positive and while that doesn't really take away the nerves, it does give me hope. Perhaps that hope will have to suffice in the grommets and studs department.
I don't really know what is going to happen between now and the end of the year, but the tidbits that I do know are equal parts exciting and vomiticious. It will be very interesting to read the blog at the end of December and see where things have been and where they are headed at that point, but inbetween then and now, I'm just gonna enjoy the ride. And really, I don't know why I'm so nervous. Rollercoasters have never made me vomiticious before. And yes. That is a word. Don't fight me on it.

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