I don't know really how to process death, I don't know that anyone really knows how, and we all deal with it differently. For me, it internalizes and creates this black hole inside of me until I snap myself out of it and decide that I have to keep going. But it's like this hole in the back of my throat that doesn't go away for a while.
I know that we are supposed to remember the good things and celebrate their life, and I believe in both. But sometimes, we just need to remember. She and I started the "Adopt a Nerd Foundation," an outreach program to less-than-socially-acceptable individuals. We had classes together where we learned from our teacher that looked like Col. Sanders that "just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean that the fire isn't still burning in the furnace." We skipped class every day so we could sit in the yearbook room on the ugly green couch. She was my closest friend at school and we had more inside jokes than are socially acceptable. I mean the gods of Acerbia rained down on us for goodness sake.
I think, for me, the best way to deal with things like this is to remember the thing that I will always have because of her. And I think my favorite things that she left me besides the jokes, the good moments and the memories are my over-use of the word bitter and FRIENDS. Yes. It was Rach that got me watching FRIENDS and taught me the wonder that is the word bitter.
So I'll miss her and remember her. She was a huge part of my life when I was a high schooler and we remained friends for ten years. I'll see her again one day. And until then, I'll remember.