Thursday, May 6, 2010

Smile and maybe tomorrow...

There comes a time when you stop asking questions and you just start making answers. Things can only be one way for a certain amount of time before you can't stand it anymore and you have to change it up.
With so many things about the future being so unclear, it's more than a little irritating when other people's futures are falling into place. I know I'm not supposed to say that, but I don't think I'm alone in thinking that. And maybe no one has had the balls to say it before. But as happy as I am that other people's lives just seem to fall into place without much effort at all, I'm allowed to be irritated that I don't have that for myself. I've waited a long time for my place and I'm still waiting. Patience may be a virtue but right now, I couldn't care less.
It's not like my life is all gloom and doom. Not in the slightest. But for the time, I would just like something solid. We don't think about this when we're younger. We never think about the end of college, we just think about what we will do when we get there and the dream job we would want when we get out. We skip over that catastrophe that sits in the middle of those two when everything starts to change.
But I will tell you, every now and then, something happens that makes me so happy that I forget about the fact that I feel like I'm floating everywhere else. To be honest, there's a someone that when I just think about them, I smile from ear to ear. It's like this involuntary reaction that I can't keep from happening. But I do. I smile. A lot. And you know what? I love it.
So I'm gonna keep smiling. I gonna keep smiling and hope that the rest of it works itself out. Otherwise I won't make it. So I'm gonna smile.

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