Sunday, April 11, 2010

The DaVinci mode

I've been going through a sort of personal renaissance as of late. That's the best way I know to explain it. It's as if everything old is being repainted, re-carved, and re-imagined.
It won't come as a surprise to anyone that I'm an extrovert. An extraordinary extrovert with trumpet burst-like laughter and a lust for life that verges on overzealous and obnoxious. But the truth of the matter is that while I still have all of those qualities (the good and the bad), I've felt things shifting inside of me.
I'm at a very strange place in life. It's not entirely unique, just unique to me I think. My story is about to change. The place I've been at for the past four years is about to be nonexistent and I'm going to be thrust into 6 months of new things before everything will change again. So I'm becoming most accustomed to feeling unsettled. Perhaps it's a defense mechanism. I like structure. As much as I do like a random jaunt to here or there, I like the structure of knowing that my needs are taken care of. For the next 6 months, I won't be assured of that. That's equal parts exciting and terrifying.
But I feel like the sands inside of me are shifting. I feel like there was a hole in my faith and over the past week, the barriers collapsed in on themselves and filled up that hole. Things have been shifting and I don't feel bad about the shifts.
I'm not complaining about these new things and the changes going on. It's just going to be a wild ride for the foreseeable future and I'm not gonna put on any semblance of a seat belt. And yes, I plan on texting while riding this ride. Take that Oprah!

(Yes, I understand how metaphor-rich this blog is, but I blame the renaissance. And yes, that sculpture is 'Ugolino and His Sons' by Jean-Baptiste Carpeaux. Made in 1861, it's not a renaissance sculpture but it's my favorite at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York and I included it here just because I wanted to. A little culture never hurt anyone. )

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