Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Not food.

So as of late, I have felt a little...detached from my brain. Through a series of very easy, yet very retarded decisions, I have been left feeling like a balloon and the only bits of clear thinking that I can manage are the little droplets that funnel their way down the string of the balloon that is my head, floating three feet above my body.
It's an interesting view from up here. Not as great as I thought it might be. I mean, my head gets rained on before everyone else, whenever a wind blows, there I go, and in the end, I don't feel whole.
The worst part of it, is that with my brain not sending rational and wise thoughts down the highway to my body, it's just doing whatever it wants to do.
No good can come from that.
But I don't feel any remorse because, again, brain not attached.
So really, I've got to get, gotta get get, gotta get my head in the game. I mean, the more that I continue to drink coffee like water, the clearer things seem to be. So, I've got a new addiction. Really, it's not so new. But I am proclaiming it now.
Hi. My name is Ryan. And I'm a coffeeholic.
Hello Bruce.
you know in Nemo, when that bipolar shark is at the meeting? I'm that shark right now. That's me. Fish are friends. Not food.
So it's time to learn life lessons from a Disney film again. I mean they raised us. A dream is a wish your heart makes - go for your dreams, especially if your step siblings are whores. Just around the riverbend - there are new opportunities that could get you killed, but they could be very exciting as well. And the genie, he's responsible for the most important lessons. "Just remember, beeeeeee yourself." That's what's important here. He also taught us that the exits are here, and her, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, everywhere. There are no limits! We can conquer all! The mermaid taught us that anything with tentacles should be destroyed, Timon and Pumba taught us that singing a song can change the course of your life and make you happy forever, and Dumbo taught us two things. One, that we should love our mothers. Two, that mice shouldn't get drunk because no good comes from it. That could be said for people too. The many levels of Dumbo.
So I've got to get back to myself. I'm Alladin, wearing the great outfit but not being happy. I'm Mickey in Fantasia trying to please people. I'm those fairies in Sleeping Beauty who can't make up their mind on anything. I'm the Great Mouse Detective that no one has seen but is really terrific. I'm the hunchback...no. I'm not the hunchback. Really, if I was anyone in that story it was the gargoyles who could turn to stone and not have to deal with any problems anymore. I'm those poor baby rabbits in Robin Hood who just want attention.
But at the end of the day, I feel like that line in the Next to Normal musical. "Catch me I'm falling." It's almost a whisper. A faint cry. Not responded to. That about sums it up.

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