Saturday, June 20, 2009

Jim, Pam, and the other 4

I have this group of friends. Thick as thieves, some might say. There's not much that we don't know about each other, though there are certain things that certain people don't know about all of us. It's sorta funny how we keep some things from some people but we have full disclosure with others, but I guess that's more of a safety net really.
The safety net. Interesting. Where did that go?
But I'm getting side tracked. See, usually, I like to at least try to shroud what or who I am talking about. But I'm not really doing that on this one. Chances are, the person or people involved aren't reading this, so it doesn't matter much anyways. Just really an avenue for my venting.
That group of friends has been broken for a while now. We have acted cordial and acted like it's not broken, but it has been. As much as I could speak for others on this, I won't. Just me. I know that it's broken. But you know? The reason why I know it's broken is because of others. So I have to speak for them on this. It's broken. What was once clinched together like a fist is now missing a finger. And you know what? The fist misses the finger, but that finger seems to always been flippin off the fist.
I'm just sad of it being broken and you know what, I know that I wasn't the one that broke it. I've done my part to try to sew that finger back on and in what is a very morbid analogy, the finger keeps ripping the thread out. So what can I do now?
I broke my leg once. Twice. Scarred me for life, both physically and emotionally. Every now and then, it flares back up and is sore, but it's not broken again.
This, I wish would just be sore.
I'm watching The Office, this is one of my summer projects, to watch all the episodes of the Office and 30 Rock. I feel like I need to fill my life with something new and quirky. Jim just told Pam that he is in love with her and she can't because she's engaged and is planning her wedding, and he stands there, his heart breaking, and he starts to cry. So there I am, thinking about what I am writing, and I think that I feel like Jim. Just standing there, one sad tear, waiting to be sore instead of broken.
So there it is. I kinda just threw it out there. But there it is. The honest truth. That hard, honest truth. I am watching The Office and 30 Rock this summer. Deal with it.

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