Saturday, June 20, 2009

And I believe that God believes in Claude

I don't understand really what the deal is. I really don't.
I went to the store today around lunch time because I didn't have any bread in my apartment. I know. There's no way I am going to go through an entire loaf of bread before it starts to grow green fuzz. But I will use about half of it and I feel that half a loaf of bread is worth the 69 cents that it cost me to buy it.
I leave the store, bread, almonds, and deodorant/antiperspirant in hand, (I'm sweaty) and I get in my car.
The Hair soundtrack is playing. "I believe in God. And I believe, that God, believes, in Claude, that's me....that's me." My favorite part.
I look up and this woman with one of those weaves that doesn't even try to look natural gets out of her car. She's going to throw something away in one of the outdoor trashcans that serve dual purposes. Equal part trash and vomit receptacle. In L.A., if you spot one of these trashcans, park and wait because the Lohan will probably be there any minute ready to use the trash can...
Seriously, here hair was like a blonde (marigold) helmet that looks like the left half of her head is the overhead view of the Nebraska grain fields and the right side of her head looks part flock-of-seagulls and part Chaz Bono. I'm sure she was a nice lady, but the hair was obnoxious.
And as she gets out of the car, her weight no longer forcing it toward the pavement, it starts to roll backwards.
Now, I know what you're thinking. Is this the weekend of the parking brake? No. It's not. She didn't take her car out of reverse before she got out of the car to go to the "trash can." I'm sorry. Where is the mental check there? I mean, sometimes, I have gotten out of my car before I have turned the car off, but never when it was still in gear.
So its rolling, slowly, but still rolling, and she and her marigold helmet run back and get in the car to put it in park. She laughed because she thought it was funny. I laughed because I thought she was an idiot.
My favorite part.

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