Monday, November 24, 2008

Tracy.

Have you ever just started crying? I know you have. I don't really mean bursting into tears either. I mean the gradual kind of tears when your eyelids just don't seem to function and the tears seep out of the sides. No heavy breathing, no machine gun bursts of sobs, just a quiet cry where the water seeps out and you realize you're crying.
Its a down day sorta, a down morning at least and I don't have all my classes because they were smart and aren't having them before the Thanksgiving holiday. I'm just sitting in my normal place on campus and I realized that the faucets in my eyes were on. I don't know who turned them on, but someone did.
Guys aren't supposed to cry. I mean, its not as bad as it used to be, but guys are still not really supposed to cry. Weakness. Well, I don't have a problem with the weakness. I try to have a strong exterior and an even stronger interior, but when it comes to crying, I don't care. Its freeing. Just to crack and let it all out? Its freeing.
I've cracked a lot lately, and that doesn't really mean I've cried a lot, it just means I've cracked a lot. It kinda feels like what was inside has all seeped out.
I'm cracking again. As I write this. But its kinda fun. When we were young lads and lasses, we were told to break out of the mold and change the world. Maybe the cracking is just a slow break? Then after that, I'll eat some breakfast then (ding) change the world.

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