Thursday, October 2, 2008

War.

That's right. I'm going to war.
You know what? I don't have time for things to be stolen from me. I don't have time for some little know-it-all to come in and try to school me on things that I am clearly better at. Do you hear me? I don't have the time.
Or the patience. And while it's a virtue and all, I just don't have time for that. I don't need that virtue right now. What I need is a good sedative.
I'm declaring war against this problem. That's what I am calling her, my problem. And war will be waged and I will let you in on a little secret, I will not be defeated. She's never met someone like me and boy, will she be scared. You know that look that a cucumber gets when it sees a jar of vinegar? That's right. I'm gonna pickle her.
This is my public declaration. Like the Butter Battle Book, I will not be swayed by someone who butters the bottom of their bread rather than the top and you can go ahead and forget about a Sneetch who has three stars on their belly. They aren't better than me.
I'm waging war and don't you forget, an elephant's faithful one hundred percent.

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