Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Sicilian Kind

Curse you Rachel Zoe. Curse you.
Not really.
Yes, I'm watching her show. Back off. It's kinda fascinating. The assistants who fight and then joke and laugh. The husband who no one knew existed til this show. The designers who she meets with and that lingering question of whether Donna Karen actually is her friend or if she was just a staged designer interview to make the show more legit. Was I the only one who lost sleep over that?
I did, in fact, lose sleep over it. I should have been sleeping but I was watching it rerun in the middle of the night instead.
But back to cursing
Curse you Zoe!
I was shopping for a new shirt and possibly a vest and it was the strangest thing, and I swear this has never happened before, but I saw a rack of designer clothes and I went straight to them. Now don't get any ideas, it was at a discount store and what was probably hundreds on 5th Avenue, I got for much much less. But I was walking around (for the ten minutes it takes to make the decision) with this shirt and I then made another snap decision. I was going to go and try it on.
Pause. I don't try things on. I see it, I like it, and after ten minutes I either buy it or I don't. But I went and tried on two shirts. The DKNY shirt didn't fit, as cool as it was. But the other shirt fit perfectly.
And so there I was, walking out of the store with a Michael Kors shirt and feeling great about myself.
I actually know where his studio is in Manhattan and I've seen it before. I can thank Rachel Zoe for that too I guess. See, I was in the elevator and the doors opened and I saw it but it wasn't until I saw it on the Zoe Project that I knew it was his. I knew it was a designers studio, I just didn't know whose. But I do now and his name is now embroidered on the inside of my shirt.
So I curse you Rachel Zoe with a Sicilian curse. I curse your catchy phrases, your designer awareness, and panic attacks. I'm addicted to your show and its changing the way I shop. I'm a man. I don't need this newness. The old way was fine.
But here I am, shutting it down on a daily basis. Curses.

Okay.

I have started to write blogs for a long time now. I mean, I knew that I hadn't written anything and I knew that I needed to. But everytime I started to write something, the well was dry. I have had nothing worth writing about.
Not that I've been a boring individual or anything, but all my TV shows have started again and I've been consumed with juggling all of the pop culture that I absorb on a weekly basis. It's very time consuming to be in the know as much as myself.
But today, as I was on a routine trip to the store to get food for the week, I ran across something that I impulse bought.
I bought a shirt today that has skulls on it. Let that marinate for a second. A shirt. Skulls.
It's kinda skater, kinda punk, and kinda goth because its covered in skulls, and I usually retract myself from stuff like that, but for some reason, today, I just grabbed it and that was that.
See, when I buy things, I carry them around with me to decide whether or not they are important. I used to ask myself the question, "Will you want this in ten minutes?" Now, I just carry it around for ten minutes and I usually find that I don't need it after all. It saves money. Try it.
But with this, I saw it, saw that it was on sale, and it was in my basket. That was that. Much like the day-after-Thanksgiving shopping, its a grab and go experience. There's no time for thinking about it.
Rather, I've done all my thinking afterward. Why would I need a shirt with skulls on it, something so uncharacteristically me? The answer was simple. Change.
Things are changing. Inside of me, outside of me, around me, everywhere. I have a lot to do during October, all of which include taking massive amounts of pictures. All the clothes I've seen to get for that stuff are just not what you'd think I'd get. But I'm set on it.
And, if all of that wasn't enough, my hair is long and I have sunglasses. I never wear sunglasses, mostly because I can't find a pair that look good on me. I've also had short hair for the past 4+ years. Its long now and though some are fans and some aren't, I am and that's what matters.
Its change. And I'm okay with it. I'm changing on the inside and I'm okay with that.
I'm changing. And I'm okay.

Monday, September 15, 2008

My view from under the bus.

So, I was feeling pretty crappy tonight. I was recently thrown under the bus by my friends and it was so irritating. If you have ever seen the underside of "the bus," you know what I mean. You don't regret the things you said because someone had to say it, but you still feel a little like an A-hole because you know that people should have backed you up.
Whatever. So I am feeling crappy.
I am finishing homework that has consumed my life all day long and it is so irritating. I am flipping through the channels so that there will be some sort of noise as I am preparing to go to bed and I come across the Discovery channel.
Now, you know that my favorite movie, or one of the top four, is Jurassic Park. What is the show that is on? A show about how they are doing what they did in that movie and they are getting so close to actually being able to make dinosaurs happen again.
For real.
Look. I know that cloning is strange and I am not really all about that stuff. Having said that, these are dinosaurs. The possibilities of making a dinosaur is the most exciting thing I have ever heard.
Do I actually believe that it will work? Not really. But the thought it wonderful. It's like whenever there is a show about the Lock Ness monster on, I am there. Nessie is for real. That's what I believe.
So, I'm excited about the prospect of making a dinosaur and animal activists saying that we are hurting the unborn ostrich and PETA will be up in arms and throw blood on things. Then someone will take the scientists to court and try to prevent them from doing it, all the while, they know that they have already done it and have just not said anything about Tigger the T-Rex that is living in some government facility somewhere. Probably area 51. That's my guess. Of course, something would happen it will get out, creating chaos, and then someone saying that this was going to happen, and they will have to shoot it and animal activists would be sad and would cry over it. Someone would pirate the technology and begin to create more dinosaurs and the San Diego zoo will be pissed and try to buy the dinosaurs. Suddenly, Steven Speilberg is at the grand opening and there are armed guards on duty at all times. Terrorists try to attack them and the national symbol of the bald eagle is replaced by Sarah the Stegosaur. Meanwhile, Nessie isn't scared of being seen anymore and she makes a weekly appearance at a festival held in her honor.
It's a bright future that we have to look forward to and though I can't see all of it from where I lay under the bus, I know that it will only get brighter as Nessie, Sarah, and all of their friends come out and live life proudly, unashamed of what they are. It's a coming out story for the ages...literally.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

...and forget

It's been a long time. Over a year actually. It's been over a year. That is a long time to hold a grudge. I realize that there are people who hold grudges longer than that. I mean, how long did the "We were on a break" thing last? A long time.
But today, as luck would have it, as I was starting my new journal, I was giving the opportunity to walk through the doors of forgiveness. It's been over a year of awkward and bitterness, but tonight, it's over.
The door of bitterness has been shut and the window of cordial kindness has been opened slightly. No, we aren't best friends. But at least there isn't bitterness there anymore.
Forgiveness is under-rated anyways. I mean, if we forgave more as a culture, then I think the world would be a much better place. Well, that and if we sang in the car more often the world would be a better place.
Yeah, it takes a giant gulp of air to get the words out. But once they are out there, the old saying goes. A weight lifts off of your shoulders. Like a balloon at a football game.
Speaking of. Why would you have a balloon at a football game anyway? Then you let it go and it flies away. Well, it has to deflate or pop at some point right and then what happens? That little rubber balloonling comes falling down from the sky and could land on a small child. Wait...that's funny.
But I never understood why people like to let balloons go and let them fly away. BUT - its completely understandable if you imagine that the balloon is your bitterness. Let it go, let it fly away, and let it call on the head of a small child somewhere where you can't be blamed.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Hung Up

It is a sad day when you realize its over. The death of a friendship hurts so badly because it is a part of you that no longer exists. A piece of who you are has crumbled away like stale bread and it is a sad revelation to see it fall off.
How do people who have been friends for so many years, just peel apart? How does a divide occur that is so splitting that you don't even speak? If you were that good of friends to begin with, shouldn't you be able to navigate the changes of life together?
Very rarely do I find my life imitating that of teenage television soaps. But today, I did. And it was such a sad realization because I felt the light of the friendship die. I saw the life in it pass on. In just a few short words, I felt it die.
I have no choice but to be hopeful for the future. I can't live without that hope. But I also know that my road keeps going and it doesn't dead-end here. So I will keep walking, unafraid and unaffected. Life's too short to be hung up on this.
"Those who run seem to have all the fun and I'm done, I'm hanging up on you."

Saturday, September 6, 2008

V for Fall.

The first V of the fall. The first V of the fall! Today I saw the first V of the fall.
I realize now that this could be read a few different ways. Don't worry. I'm here to assure you that the first V of the fall was made of birds and not something else. Perves.
Its hard to tell when the weather is still in the 90s, but fall is here. Today was the first real day that felt like my favorite season, the fall.
Picture it. Its Saturday. The cool morning weather enabled us to have the windows of the apartment open. My fall scented candle is burning in the kitchen. There is a football game tonight.
We are at the game and the first V of the season flies over head. Its the fall. My favorite season.
To further cement this occasion, the MTV Video Music Awards are on tomorrow night. My favorite awards show of them all. Sure, the Oscars are the best. But I feel like they are so much above all the rest that they shouldn't be counted. Therefore, the VMAs are my favorite. Tomorrow, I will celebrate them all day. New fall cds are coming out, college football games, soon new Christmas albums will be out, my TV shows are starting back up again. Its the fall.
And today, with the first V, let the fall commence.