Saturday, August 30, 2008

Bryan's Tryin

What happened to Making the Video?

You remember it. MTV would follow people around as they would make their video for their new song and we got to see them be "real" and "raw." Which it was all just one big performance for the cameras, but it doesn't matter because we ate that up.

I miss that.

That was a side note. Here's the real deal. Bryan Clay won the gold medal and was considered the best athlete in the world because he excelled at so many different things. Fine. Good for you. And then he's talking smack about Michael Phelps, saying that Phelps isn't the world's best athlete, no matter how many gold medals he has and that he's "probably" the best swimmer in the world.

I'm sorry. Did someone steal your spotlight? Did someone just get millions and millions of dollars of endorsements and you didn't? Did someone, all by themselves, revive NBC and Olympic viewership? I don't care what gold medal you won, you didn't win 8. Actually, you didn't win 14.

I hate athletes that have bad attitudes and are so full of themselves. I hate it. Get over yourself. You won a frikken gold medal. Most people never get anywhere close to that. So back down buddy. Phelps trumped you and you're mad about it. Well clearly, I'm mad about you. And not in a good way.

Monday, August 25, 2008

News wrap up

Another judge on Idol. Okay. I get it. Having to add something to a system that isn't so innovative anymore. Or ever was for that matter. Kara, you are no Michael Phelps.
News is saying that Britney isn't performing at the VMAs. Has there ever been such sad news? I think not. I'm not actually sure that I believe the news yet though. Who knows.

My last first day of school was today and it was dreadful. Just dreadful. Fitting in that its keeping with my first days of school in the past. Its a crap shoot with me. Classes were bad, work was bad, even working out was bad. Retarded isn't it?
I missed the bus on my first day of high school, I was registered in the wrong class my first day of college, and the first days have just been bad ever since. I've tried to shake it, but apparently I am unable to do so.
I even enjoyed a late night trip to West with the clan, singing and eating pastries to start the year out on the right foot. But I fell off the foot. You know I've had knee problems.
Though I will tell you that watching Gossip Girl on dvd brings me back to my first love. Television. Its thrilling to watch these people act so badly just because they're rich and they can. And I love it when they get in trouble for being bad and they get what's coming to them. Not glorified at all.
So I sleep. Stomach hurting and head pounding. And I think I have the knee injuries to blame for my bad luck with schools. I mean, the year after I broke it, I missed the bus to high school, thus starting this horrible merry-go-round of pain and torture.
So farewell first day of school. Farewell. Tomorrow, the sun will come out. Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play but tonight, tonight, there's only one tonight. And tonight, I will be sleeping, dreaming of tomorrow, after all there's only one more sleep til...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


On the heels of Michael Phelps becoming the obsession that he is today, even greater news has emerged.
Michelle Kwan said that she might be going to the next winter games.
Best. News. Ever.
I mean, if she and Shawn Johnson were in a room together, and I walked in...I might pass out.
Michelle is the epitome of figure skating. Sure, there were greats before her. But never since her, has there been a name so readily associated with the sport. Her going back to the Olympics would be the best thing that ever happened, because she can go after the gold that she deserves so much and has yet to obtain. It's hard to believe that Michelle Kwan doesn't have a gold medal. A silver and a bronze - yes. But no gold. That's a crime.
A crime.
I'm on team Kwan. Join me.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

No One Is!

Take this for what it's worth.
Congrats Ellen and are not more important than Michael Phelps.
That's right. I said it.
You are NOT more important than Michael Phelps.
I'm so irritated when the headlines say that those two women got married and a sub headline below that is about Phelps and the record breaking medals.
Yes, she's funny. Yes, I love her.
But she's not Michael Phelps.
No one is.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

100th Post

And it's a doozy.

I was sitting in my apartment tonight, minding my own business and listening to Janet Jackson. I had just seen Michael Phelps win two more golds, I had seen the USA girls gymnasts throw the gold away to a bunch of underage chinese girls who are 12.
So I am listening to Janet, in my bubble and winding down for the day.
Then, my roommate walks in and goes, "Is that the Full House song?"
Give it a minute. Let that sink in.

Ready? Alright.
" That's Janet Jackson."
"But its the same melody."
"No. This is Janet Jackson."

My roommate compared a Janet Jackson song to the dippiest, pre-Hannah Montana , sitcom on television.
Now give that a minute.

See, I used to watch Full House. I did. I watched it all the time. I loved crazy Uncle Jessie and not touching the hair and that silly little Michelle and even Uncle Joey with the woodchuck thing. Now, I recognize the woodchuck to be a gross sexual innuendo that would not only terrorize small children, but would also demoralize and desensitize even the most right winged of Baptist children. I venture to say that the woodchuck would lead those small Baptisians to become angry punk-rock faux-hawkers who secretly love Miley Cyrus and proclaim their love for whatever the "rock" band of the moment was on the radio. They all sound alike anyways.

Janet Jackson is NOT Full House. Janet Jackson and her over-sexed music, over the top videos, and pierced secret places is NOT Full House. See, she's overt with her sexuality, thus not causing much harm. The woodchuck however...

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Go World.

Okay. We've established that I love the Olympics.
But as Michael Phelps entered the last two laps, and I bounced up and down on my couch, and everyone in my apartment held our breath, it was thrilling. You know, us, George W, Michael's mom, and the rest of America, rooting him on.
It's thrilling. As Morgan Freeman so eloquently says on the commercials for Visa, when he wins, we all win.
I mean, if that was his hardest one, and he made it look that easy, then what will stop him from getting gold in everything else? I mean, it's incredible. I feel privileged to be watching it.
Go World.
Go Michael.

Friday, August 8, 2008


It's the first day of the Olympics now and you know how I feel about China and the way that they do things, but let me tell you...commys know how to throw a party. Most incredible opening ceremony I have ever seen and with a performance from Sarah Brightman and an asian children's choir, my world is complete.
But enough about that. Let's talk about pride in our country shall we?
First, I am very open about the fact that I am proud to be an American. We all know that. But I always find myself more patriotic during the Olympics than at any other time. I realize that's natural. Most countries respond that way and that's great.
But I have never been so passionately patriotic than when the USA Olympians walked into the opening ceremony. There might have been screaming. There might have been yelling. There might have been clapping...which evolved into clapping and chanting...which evolved into clapping, chanting, and hand motions. Maybe.
And then we, with the Prez, stood up, well, who are we to be sitting at a time like this? So then it was, clapping, chanting, hand motions, and bouncing.
I think my favorite moment was when we reenacted the part of the song "Shout" when it gets a little bit softer now. Our "U-S-A" chants got softer and softer til they were whispers. Silent chants of the nation that we love. And as it swelled, we became louder, and louder, and louder, until we were shouting and clapping and bouncing and you get the picture.
Yes. Everyone in my apartment was over 21 years of age. No, it doesn't matter one bit to me that I am 25 and cheering. The Olympics are something that is the highest honor that someone can have. That and an Oscar. And a Nobel Prize. But what else compares? Not the Grammy, not the Emmy, not the blue ribbon at the country fair, and not even a Genius Grant. A gold medal at the Olympics is recognized no matter where you are from and what road of life you walk on. Some people don't care about movies, they are fools, but still. So having an Oscar does nothing for them. But a gold medal is universally recognized. Kinda like Visa and Coca Cola.
So, I am proud of my country, I am ready for some gold medals, I want to cry when I watch them win it, I want to cheer, I want to listen to the Olympic music and feel like I am a part of something great.
And maybe I want to chant and bounce again. With a Coke.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Where At Least I Know I'm Free

I'm so over China.
I said it.
And I'm not taking it back.
Look, this whole thing with the Olympic games has been one disaster after another. Why the Olympic committee chose China is beyond me anyways. We all know that all of their rules and regulations were going to be a problem.

I truly appreciate America. I appreciate that we can say what we want and go where we want. I appreciate the Lil Kim can wear an outfit with her boob hanging out and that Diana Ross can jiggle it like she was Bill Cosby with a jiggler. I appreciate that bad drag queens can be on America's Got Talent and pretend to be celebrities. I appreciate that we can go to church when we want to and make mistakes if we want to, and have eight kids if we want, and that even though we pollute our cities, at least we have restrictions on it. We don't have to shut down the factories so that the air can be clean enough for the athletes to compete. Fools.

I don't care what kind of temples are there. I don't care how incredible the wall is. I don't care how many thousand of those terra cotta soldiers are hidden there. I don't care about any of it. You have to treat people with respect and not like possessions.
And lastly, I appreciate a land where reality television can win an Emmy. The land of the free, now that's comedy.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Anything for Lunch.


There are two kids on Larry King Live talking about how they are paparazzi. One is 14 and one is 16.
Give it a minute to soak in.
They go out at night and stand around and take pictures of celebrities and sell them. No kidding.
So Kathy Griffin, who I love, is interviewing them. Larry was busy having his face flab tightened. They were so smug about it too. They knew all of the celebs spots, they have relationships with some of them, and they were spilling how the celebs will call them and tell them where they are going so they can be there to get pictures of them. For real. I mean, we knew it was happening, but here it was. Said out loud.
I don't like that. Not one bit.
Not that I wouldn't do the same thing. I mean, come on, I sure would do the same thing. I'd be texting them and telling them that I was going to be at Urban Outfitters after lunch and if they want a money shot, they would need to pay for lunch. I mean it, I would give them money shots. Pants "accidentally" fall down, kissing with tongue, fights in public...I'm doin it. Buy me lunch.
I just have such a problem with these kids taking all of these pictures. They are kids. And they've met Britney.
I'm jealous.


We were sitting in my apartment and the sky outside turned yellow.
We go outside and see that yes, in fact, it was yellow. Not the mellow kind. Rather, the smoker's teeth kind.
I get online to my trusty and I look at the hour by hour forecast and it says that it will be clear all night long.
Cut to the wind blowing in at 50 mph.
And then it got dark.
The wind kept blowing.
We race down the stairs to stand in the wind.
Then the rain began. Flying at us at an angle. Like enemy snipers flying in to destroy a field full of baby wombats. Trust me. That analogy works.
Central Texas getting rain. It's wonderful. It's so rare that we had to stop what we were doing to watch it. Have you ever watched it rain?
It's poetic. You know it.
But the wind blowing in was much more poetic. It was like if the bag in American Beauty was tossed into a tornado. It just thrashed about as it was blown down the street at the speed of a car. Crashing into bushes, parked cars, people's faces. So it was like poetry on speed.
Could there be anything more poetic?

SMALL, Small, small.

I love the Internet. I just love it. Here's why.
I love that all I have to do is go onto a website to see a live feed of Times Square at six different angles and I can stare at the city that I love.
I love that I can watch movies, listen to music, see movie trailers, talk to my friends all over the world, buy fruit beverages, and connect to the people who are on the reality tv shows that we love.
And I love that I can be on a blog and vicariously ride the It's A Small World ride at Disney in Paris. The entire ride. I just rode it. And it was wonderful.
See, there is so much truth in that video. It really is becoming a smaller and smaller world since all we have to do is click and we are able to see anything. It's wonderful. And all the little asian and indian children who keep singing that song over and over and over French...agree.

Saturday, August 2, 2008


A girl that I work with has a serious problem. She doesn't have anything.

See, her mom passed away a year ago and she has been living with her dad, trying to make as much money as possible to make ends meet. You'd have to know her, but she's a very pleasant girl to be around. She's usually smiling, joking about whatever, and laughing at her own jokes. Everyone likes her and she works hard.
She had a storage space that was full of her stuff. Furniture that had been passed down from different family members, boxes of photographs of her mother, all the clothing that wouldn't fit where she was staying, etc. She just found out that her father hadn't been paying the rent on the storage place and three months ago, they foreclosed on the space.
They also told her father that since he wasn't going to come and pick up all of her stuff, they were auctioning it all off. Everything. Gone.
She just found out that three months ago, she lost everything. And to complicate things, her father knew that they were getting rid of it all and he didn't do anything about it. He didn't tell her so that she could go and get her stuff, but instead, he did nothing.
So she's been staying with friends because she can't bear to live with him any longer. She's thinking that she is going to move back to Houston for the semester because she can't stay here with him. She's going to work and save money and prepare for the spring semester at school.

I couldn't even respond. I, who has the words to say about everything, couldn't even respond. Not because I haven't heard stories like that. But because here, at Baylor University, where there are teenagers driving around cars that cost their parents 60,000 dollars, there is someone who's father didn't even care enough to tell her that everything that she owned, including photographs of her mother, were being thrown away.
It infuriates me. I've met her father. Dresses like a thug, and pays well for it, but does something like this.
I don't have a lot of money, but I have never gone without. My parents have worked their tails off so that they could take care of us, always putting us first and never themselves.

So I'm responding now by telling this story, in hopes that it won't happen again.