Thursday, July 31, 2008

Once Is Enough

Is it necessary to thank you twice?

Now, I'm from the south where men are supposed to hold doors open for women. We, meaning men of the south, are expected to open doors for these women and it's not that I don't want to hold the door. I like making it easier on people, sure. But I don't appreciate the idea that I HAVE to hold the door for you. I don't have to do anything. I hold the door because I'm a nice guy. Back off.

Then what if I don't get to the door first? Then what? Or what if my hands are full. That happened to me today at the post office. I was carrying about a hundred pounds of books and couldn't get the door. So the nice woman in front of my got the door for me. I thanked her for opening the door for me. But then there was the second door that she opened. What do I do now?
So someone holds a door for you, you say thanks. But what if they hold that second door open for you too? Do you thank them again only mere seconds since you thanked them before? Is that necessary? Will they then think that we were only thankful for the first time? Does that cause them to question our sincerity entirely?

So I didn't thank her the second time. I didn't think it was necessary. I mean, I'm thankful. I said it once. I don't need to say it again. I think it's awkward when people thank me twice. I mean, sure, I try to open the exterior door and the inside door as well when I am at a restaurant. I don't need the thanks twice. Once is enough.
But please take note of that last sentence. Once is enough. You DO have to thank me. I don't owe it to you to hold the door open for you. If I had my way, I would go inside so I could put my name on the list before you and your five kids and your husband on a cell phone. There is nothing that pisses me off more than when people think that it is owed to them that I hold the door for them.

It's a southern thing. I know that. I don't want to live in the south for the rest of my life. I long to live in a land where holding the door is appreciated and not expected. Where I can hold a door for you and you will thank me. Where everything works together as it should. One day, I will live in that land.

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