Monday, March 31, 2008

Pro-Red

I am done with Chelsea Clinton. Done with her. Not that I ever liked her to begin with, but after these past couple weeks, I am really done with her.
Look. Your father got head from an intern in the Oval Office. It was international news. He was impeached. It will go into the history books. I don't care about your mother running for president. I have my own issues with her. But the fact of the matter is, when you are out on the campaign trail and someone asks about something that was the biggest news story of your father's presidential run, you should figure out a way to answer it. This whole "That is none of your business" crap is getting old. I have watched the videos both times she has done this and it's just like a high school girl going "None of your business! I am sure your parents have things they don't want to talk about! Nanny nanny boo boo!"
Chelsea. You are going to have to answer that question eventually. Otherwise, why would we want to vote for your mom when she won't at least make a comment about something that EVERYONE wants to know about. I don't care if you are Pro-Choice, Pro-Gay, Pro-Red, or Pro-Green. Answer the question that people obviously want to know. How did a real life issue affect you? George W. didn't plan on 9-11 happening, but how did he react. How has all of this affected him? That's what we want to know.
Boo Chelsea. Boo. You have been booed.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

In the Zone

Remember that one time when you were stressed? Remember how that went? I do. Wait. That time is now. Why is it that everything has to happen at the same time? Why do all of the professors in the world feel like they have to give out the biggest projects at the same time?
I think they have meetings. They get together and conspire against us. They say things like, "They are in college, they can handle it." And then they scheme to make it difficult. Thanks for that.
I mean, I had so much to get done that I had to enter the Zone. That's right. The Zone. I mean, calming music blasting, lights turned out, alone...the Zone. (up against the speaker tryin to take on the music like a competition me against the beat I wanna get in the zone)
So I am in the Zone, from now until Tuesday. Join me there. It's fun in here. CeCe Winans blends with Britney while Syesha Mercado and the Three Graces fade in and out of each other. It's a wonderful place.

Don't lie.

First and foremost - Don't lie. Just don't. You know that when you are at home and you are flipping through the TV channels, and you see that a Top Model marathon is on, you stop and watch it. You know you do. Don't even pretend that you don't.
Now that we have that out of the way, remember that episode when Tyra freaks out?! She's all yelling and screaming at that girl? BEST EPISODE EVER. I found myself watching a marathon today and I was actually considering turning it off...and then I saw that the next episode was THAT episode.
You know that I am not doing anything until I see that. It never gets old. It's one of the best clips of television ever. I mean, there's when Phoebe pretends she is going to have sex with Chandler, there's when Kelly Clarkson won American Idol, and there is when Tyra let loose. Yes, there are other moments in television, but come on...Tyra Banks shouting with her firey red hair and pointing that finger.
So to all of the Top Models out there, rock on, don't piss off Tyra.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Men Only

I live in a world where the ratio of men to women is like 1:350. Not that it's a big problem, most of them are hot. So that makes things much more fun. But, there comes a time when the women need to run along and just leave the boys alone for a few hours. They don't all actually understand this idea, so I have written a letter to help you out. Men, feel free to copy and paste this to whomever you need to.

Women:
1. Leave us alone.
There are certain things that can't be said when you are around. There are certain topics that can't be discussed when you are in the room. There are certain war stories that can't be told when you are within earshot. We need to be able to share these things.
2. Stop bugging us.
When we are having Guy's night, you don't have to always throw yourself into the middle of it. Don't text us, we are talking about you. Don't call us, we are complaining about you. Don't show up, we are bragging about you.
3. Don't interfere.
We need each other like you need your girlfriends. That old saying, "Bros before..." you know the rest...it still stands. Don't mess with brothers. We'd be busy taking bullets for each other and you'd be crying in the car. Shh. Stop crying. It was just a car backfiring.

I'm really not angry. Just letting you know. Smile and take it with a grain of salt...and a lot of sarcasm. Glad I could be of help.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

An Enchanted Thought.


I have a problem with roaches that hum. I mean, I am completely on board with animals singing. Simba, the birds in Snow White, fish under the sea, even Ogres. But roaches that hum, I can't handle. There isn't a market for that in today's music scene. Somehow, there has always been a market for the occasional singing dog or a troupe of mice that encourage a positive self esteem. "We can do it, we can do it, we can help our..." It doesn't matter who they are helping, the point is that they believe that they can do it and that is truly wonderful.
Mice that pantomime, schools of fish that give directions, elephants that fly, foxes who rob from the rich, monsters who scare because they care, a toy cowboy who gives TMI concerning what's in his boots, even a pussy cat that wears boots to compensate for his shortcomings. All of these things I am perfectly okay with. Roaches that hum...no.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Weed

You know that point when you are just done? Just done. You know, there comes a place when you just can't take it anymore. You can't take the hurt anymore. You can't take the pain of seeing it anymore. When you care so deeply for someone and that door has just closed.
And so I am done. I can't look at the pictures anymore. I can't pretend that in my mind we are just friends. I can't pretend that everything is fine. I can't pretend that I am not still hurt by being blown off completely.
Fine. I didn't do everything right. But you know how it goes? When you are the only one that can actually know how much something has meant to you? When you keep it inside so you don't look like a fool in love. Yeah.
So, in the effort of self preservation, I am done. I close that part of my life and I move on. Just like I had to close that chapter of my life that held N'Sync as a group, Teen People magazine, good music videos on TRL, music videos on TRL period, and the excitement of over-the-top award show performances. At least with that chapter, I still have CDs and DVDs to remember them by. With this, I don't want to look at the pictures. I have to pluck the weeds out.

The Whipper

I'm sitting outside, waiting for my car to get inspected. It's a nice day, my hair looks good, I'm relaxed, no one annoying is out here. Having said that:
There really should be something more to do while you have your car inspected. I mean, everyone in America has to get it done eventually and so we all either sit inside a read expired magazines or we stand outside talking on our phones. While those things are fine, I still feel like there should be more.

Like a small roller coaster or something. That would do the trick wouldn't it? Just to have a small roller coaster treking down the hill behind the inspection place? You get out of your car, hand them the keys and your insurance card, and get on the roller coaster. Talk about filling the time gap. Sure, it would cost a little extra, but who wouldn't pay that so they could spend 20 minutes on a roller coaster? I mean, at Six Flags, you are on there for 30 seconds to a minute and a half. And we pay 40 dollars for that. Why not pay an additional 10 dollars to ride the Whipper behind the Kwik Kar Lube place? There could be a ice cream stand, sno cones are actually preferred, and there could be massage chairs. Now, people will line up to get their car inspected. Don't have to worry about overdue inspections any longer because everyone would race to get there!

I just feel like we need to take every opportunity we can to make the world a better place and this is one real way we can do it. Maybe there is a petting zoo for the kids? Maybe a tiki bar for the adults? Maybe a small pool? Maybe a tiki bar IN the small pool. The world needs this and I feel honored that I could bestow this advice to you.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Bunny! Give Me My Cookies!

So after all of the crap and bad reviews and bad box office, I can officially say that Evan Almighty was not nearly as bad as people said it was. Actually, it was quite good. I mean, predictability is kinda what you ask for when you see a movie like that, but it was good. And Wanda Sykes. She is just the reason that sidekicks still exist in movies. She cracked me up. As silly as parts were and everything, it wasn't a bad movie. Maybe I was just in a good place to watch it, but I enjoyed it.


I also enjoyed Horton. That's right. He heard that Whoo and he fought for that. Yes. I already knew the ending. Read the book. Seen the first movie. I know what happens. But there is something about seeing the world that I have grown up looking at in books and seeing it on screen just as I would have imagined it. There is such a distinct look to a Dr. Suess world. I am, I guess, in the minority of the people who liked The Grinch with Jim Carrey, but it showed the world as I would have imagined it. Even if the movie made 340 million worldwide, people still say they don't like it. I think it's just because they don't like the fact that there is more to it than the cartoon.
But come on. I mean, Vlad? That is good film making. If you don't know what I am talking about, then you need to go and see it.

___ Cool, and Collected


Driving from Waco to Dallas today, I found that the drive actually went rather smoothly. Sometimes when I drive it, it seems to take forever, but today was not one of those days. The music was groovin just as it should be, I was making good time and not really hitting that much traffic. All was good.
I get to my exit and I pull off of the Tollway. I stop at the red light and all is well. There is a creeper parked next to me but that is neither here nor there. The light turns green and I start to accelerate, only then realizing that my front right tire has given up its fight and has combusted. The flattened tire, that can hardly be called a tire anymore, is flipping and flopping on the road like a dying fish. Metal starts to find its way to the pavement and I pull over. Calmly, I pull over.
Gone was the panic, gone was the moment of irritation and frenzy. An overwhelming calm came over me and I called my father. I know how to change a tire just fine, I just have to check on certain aspects of my car and where is the Hidden Temple Silver Monkey lever to get my spare tire out of its cave and such.
I call. I'm calm. I get out of the car. I'm calm. I get the tire stuff out of my trunk. People are staring and I am still calm. One nice man even offered to help. Gotta love a Texan. My dad comes to offer a hand and I take the deflated, dilapidated, de-tire-ized piece of rubber off of my car and put on the spare. Everything is good and I am still calm. The weather is beautiful. And I am still calm.
As I drive to my parent's house, the sunset is beautiful and I am still calm.
The reason for this? I am not going to try to get all deep and spiritual. It can be wrapped up in 2 words. Celine Dion. That's right. The re-air of her Oprah episode was on and I became totally calm watching it. It's hard to explain beyond that. That crazy French-Canadian woman has some sort of spell on me. The crazier she is, the calmer I am. I need medication, of that I am sure.
So, I was calm today in a situation that was zero-fun-sir. Thank the Lord. Or Celine.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Bring on the Rain

I will tell you that I love the rain. I really do. I mean, it's not very fun when I have a small umbrella and I am holding Starbucks and trying to not spill it all everywhere, but I really do love the rain.
Many people like to sit on the couch or lie in bed and chill when it rains and I am no exception. I love it too. I like sitting in my doorway to my apartment and writing in my journal (my porch is almost non-existent). I even liked it when it rained in New York City when I lived there because it was just so poetic almost. Nature and concrete mixing like that. I loved it.
Today it rained so much and luckily I didn't have to walk in it a lot, but still, I loved it. I'm sure it wasn't fun for those who were soaked in it, but I loved hearing the sound of thunder. It was so calming. I know that the idea of thunder isn't calming, but it is to me. Sometimes, we just need to find the calm within the storm. Cheesy...yes. Truth...yes.
"Cuz tomorrow's another day
and I am not afraid
So bring on the rain"

Monday, March 17, 2008

Bone Dry.

I have heard people say that something stressed them out so much that they had to lie down. I have heard that expression. And I have had to take breaks from things so that I can clear my head and stuff. So I know how that goes. Having said that...I just had that moment when I became so stressed out in just a matter of minutes...and the room started spinning and I was so dizzy that I thought I was going to fall over. I almost did in my room.
It's a lovely thought if you think about it really. I have used up all of my creativity for the day and now I am being expected to use even more. The tank is dry. Bone dry. But I press onward and upward. Up, up, up...can only go up from here.

Old School

So I have been in the middle of a love affair with old music lately. Music from the 1950's and the 1960's. I have found myself flipping to the oldies station on the radio or turning it on my iPod. Who knew? I have also realized that I know SO MANY of those songs! I thank my parents for always having it playing in the car for that. We listened to it on vacation, Nat King Cole specifically. That was road trip music. Nowadays in my life, road trip music is Britney, any sort of 90's dance music, some Justin, Carrie Underwood, and Mariah. But back then, it was those 'lazy hazy crazy days of summer' and 'ramblin' rose.'
I have been inspired by these old songs and the eras that they came from. It's been really nice. A different perspective for sure. And that is a good thing.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

The Calm.

Today really has been all about the music, but let me tell you. I love Sarah Brightman. I just love her. I have loved her for a long time. But I fell in love with her all over again tonight. I was sitting in my room on my bed so that I could finish writing my script that was due and she was doing a concert on PBS.
Yes. PBS. Move past that part.
She was singing songs from her new album and tossing some old ones in there too. She was singing in this giant cathedral in Vienna I think and it was so beautiful. She had on all these long dresses that were super hot and she sounded so perfect. I really like the new songs, but man, she sang Phantom of the Opera at the top of the cathedral where the organ pipes meet the ceiling. It was so amazing.
I was just completely enamored with the entire thing. It was like this thing of beauty and artistry was coming alive in my room and I was just being whirled around. You know, like in a Disney cartoon when the character can do magic and it swirls around? The fairy godmother? Those three fairies in Sleeping Beauty? Make it pink...make it blue? When the wind blows around Pocahontas? Except without all the purple leaves and river dirt. Well, that's what was happening in my room...except not gay and not weird.
I'm not afraid to tell you that it fueled me creatively and it just filled my head with such a calm. That is the wonder of Sarah. She is the calm.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Full of Grace

I love music. I love it more than I love anything else. And I love finding new artists. I feel honored to have caught on to some of the artists before the public.
I found Mary Mary before they hit it big. I found them at Barnes and Noble and in a couple months, they were huge. Everyone was singing about getting those shackles off their feet. After all, we just wanna dance.
Josh Groban. I remember hearing about him when he sang at the Oscar rehearsals and then I got his CD when it came out. Bam. Best selling artist of 2007. I called that one.
I told people when she auditioned for American Idol that she was going to be big. No one believed me. Then, Jennifer Hudson won the Oscar. Looks like someone was correct.
Well, I have found someone else. Well, I mean, I found it on iTunes just like millions of people found them. But I thought I would share anyways. The Three Graces. If you like the style that Josh Groban sings, Il Divo, Hayley Westenra...you will like them. I have been all around town looking for the CD and I can't actually find it, but I downloaded the first song, Requiem. It just blows my mind. It's everything that is wonderful about music. Women who can sing, a backup choir, the works. It really is a lovely find, so check them out.
It's amazing. Just thought I would share.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

So Cryptic

Do you like it when people use their blogs to get their passive aggressive points across? When people decide to be all cryptic and say things that are "so important" that they have to be said shrouded in secrecy and told in some sort of artistic fashion?
I blame Rosie actually. Thats right. Rosie O'Donnell. She started this. She and her blog after she got the boot on the View. I don't care how you spin what happened there, she got the boot. Either she gave herself the boot or the network did. Something happened there. You know, you either like Elizabeth or you don't and it really is fine either way. Personally, I like her because her "view" is different than everyone else at that table. I am not saying that I agree with everything that she says, but what would be the point of the show if they all sit there and agree all the time. That would be boring. We want the cat fight. It's the real reason why we watch that show. And she gave it to us. And you know what, after being bombarded for so long, she had every right to explode with her views. I don't care if she was right or wrong, if I can steal the words of a buddy, "Get it!"
So then Rosie blogs and is all cryptic about it. Like that makes her more interesting or something. Can I tell you when she was most interesting? When she was in A League of Their Own. That was when she was most interesting. Not when she is being cryptic.
Perez has got the right idea. I don't agree with everything he does or says, but I do have to admire the fact that he just gets out there and tells it like it is.
More often than not, people don't tell it like it is. There is always a secret there or something that isn't being said. Why? Why is that? I'm not scared to tell you like it is. A lot of times it works well to my advantage, and then other times people can't handle it and they get huffy. But most of the time, they just need to get off their Huffy bike and play in the sandbox with the rest of us.
So, stop being so cryptic. Just tell people what you want them to know. If you hate the color red, then let us know that you hate the color red. Don't masquerade that you are so blue and that you can't go near the ambient light of a rose or the color of a fire. Just say that you don't like red.
Personally, I like both red and Elizabeth.

Here's the Reality

I like reality TV. I am not ashamed to admit that. There is a lull in my life when American Idol is not on television, I get sucked in when I start watching the all-day marathons of Top Model and Runway, D-List, Top Chef, Clash of the Choirs...I like reality television.
I've even spent hours of my life watching the lesser known shows that make up the reality TV Parthenon. I've seen the Bravo model show, Paula Abdul's show, the real Housewives shows, Big Brother, etc. So I have seen those shows and didn't hate them.
Okay. But does that mean that we need Living Lohan? Do we really need a show about the mother of the girl who's only contribution to the entertainment industry is to the families of the photographers who make money off of her being drunk and high? I mean, where was the reality show when the mother should have been keeping her daughter under lock and key so that she could get better and avoid rehab for the fourteenth time? That is the reality show that I want to see! Poor little Lindsey being locked inside the house. Or better yet! Lock her in the basement like that guy on Desperate Housewives. That would make for good reality TV. Lock her in there and make her listen to her own CD on repeat. That will scare her straight. Not that I didn't like the song 'Rumors' because I did. But still.
Maybe it's just that it's a Lohan that drives me crazy. I would probably watch a show about Beyonce's mom. You know, that "fashion designer?" That could be a good show. Have a guest spot from Christian from runway where he calls everything "fierce" and then Beyonce breaks him in half with her thighs? That is good TV!
So will I watch laLohan? No. Not at all. And the younger sister? Come on. At least Dakota Fanning's younger sister can act. What can baby Lohan do? Kinda like Beyonce's little sister. All she can do is get pregnant. At least Britney's little sister had a show on TV when she got pregnant. Don't get me started on that child-mother-to-be. But again, if Lynn Spears had a show, I would probably watch it. I would watch as she navigates the hard road between Louisiana and Hollywood, keeping up with one daughter that the paparazzi have driven mad and the other one who is so attention starved (or bored) that she got pregnant. There could be a moment when Britney finally runs over a paparazzi. That is event television ladies and gentlemen. laLohan is not.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Big deal.

Kate Hudson. Why are the paparazzi following her? I just don't understand it. I do understand that her mother is/was famous and she was a big deal. I mean come on, she was in First Wives Club. Quite the blockbuster. It was all about Goldie. But it isn't any longer. Other than showing up on a film montage or the occasional Oscar telecast, she isn't around. Except now, she shows up in the photos that the paps take of her daughter. Kate. So again, why?
I don't care that she got a divorce. Doesn't everyone? Isn't that the easy answer to everything now? I don't care who she is dating, where her kids play in the sand, what store she is shopping at, whether she is in Miami or Los Angeles, or if she has gotten a haircut or not. Come on. That's not interesting. At all.
She isn't interesting. At all. She hasn't had a real hit in a long time. So why is she on celebrity websites? She doesn't do anything! She's normal looking and blonde. Big deal. Show me someone who is interesting.
I have friends who are normal looking and blonde who are far more interesting than Kate Hudson. Actually, I venture to say that all of my friends are more interesting than Kate Hudson. And none of them have to have their pictures taken everywhere they go. Well...that's not entirely true. Some of them are photo whores. I think there is a little bit of that in all of us. But it doesn't change the fact that we don't need any more coverage of Kate Hudson and her dull life and dull boyfriends and dull movies and dull haircuts. Dull.

A New Beginning

I read so many people's blogs on a daily basis. I do. And I just love reading people's opinions about things, even if I don't agree with them. So I have decided that in the interest of practicing what I preach, I should also have a blog in which I can tell the world what I think about things and just let my opinion be out there.
It's time for a new beginning.